Magnify the Positive

I love my husband very much. But i confess, for years i kept mental lists of every fault he has ever displayed. One of the faults i found in Erik was that he played his computer games about 3 times a week! I thought he was extremely selfish not to realize how hard it was for me to come home tired from work and find him playing away. I felt that we didn't have much time together. I was not spiritually intelligent enough to understand that we both need our "me" time. I was always wanting to be with him 24/7. 

I was the one that was selfish.

I never considered that Erik worked all week, and that on the weekdays, when he plays this is how he unwinds. I didn't realize how important it was for him. I tried to get him to quit. I was angry almost every time, which made him want to play even more!


I also complained that Erik did not talk to me enough, that he goofed around too much and wasn't serious enough, and that he wasn't aggressive enough. The list i kept of his faults went on and on.


In short i overlooked all his positive characteristics. I was so busy meditating on his faults and trying to correct them and i did not even realize what a blessing i had in my life.


When God finally taught me - to magnify the good in life and people, it was amazing how great qualities i discovered in my husband. Of course those qualities where there all the time. I could have been enjoying him all those years.


I discovered Erik is flexible and adaptable. He is very easy to get along with, very sweet, he is not demanding at all, it doesn't matter to him if i want to go out and spend time with my girlfriends, he allows me to buy anything i want for which we have enough money, anytime i want to invite a group of people in our house it is fine with him, if i want to go out for dinner it is fine with him, and i always get to choose where i want to go! he is an amazing worship leader, he sings amazingly and plays the guitar and keyboard like no other..... he cooks me spaghetti (his specialty) :)


Erik also takes good care of me, and makes sure we pray :) the list of his good points are lengthy - longer than the list i kept of his negative qualities.

Are you majoring in someone's faults when you could be magnifying the persons good points? Be positive with who you have relationships. We all have faults and if magnified those faults become bigger than they really are. But when we magnify the good points in people, they become larger than the things that irritate us.

Today if someone ask me what my husband's faults were, i would have to think hard to come up with some. Nobody is perfect, and Erik has his faults, but i don't pay much attention to them any longer, making them hard to remember.

I make an effort not only to think of Erik's strengths, but also to compliment him about them. When we verbally magnify people's strengths we edify and encourage them. We are helping them to be the best they can be. 

We pull the best out of them by magnifying the best.

What a difference it makes in our relationships when we magnify and bring our the positive in people. It not only helps the other people improve, but also helps us enjoy them more, right where they are.

"Lord help me to magnify the good in others and not to focus on those things that are negative - I commit to allowing others the freedom to change. I trust you to mold and shape others into the people you want them to be. Please give me the grace to be gracious and positive in all my relationships. Help me to see the positive in everyone around me to speak in a positive manner, even when i must bring correction. Thank you Lord"

~ personalized - conflict free living - Joyce Meyer ~